


Stop Thinking/I Never Stopped Looking

by orphan_account



Series: Ryan never stopped looking [2]
Category: Bandom, Glee RPF, Hot Chelle Rae
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-23
Updated: 2012-07-23
Packaged: 2017-11-10 14:18:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/467254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place directly after the events at the end of <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/465400">Cont'd BATSHIP CRAY CRAY</a>.  Nash needs to figure out what just happened back there, so he calls his only brother.  Hilarity ensues.  Then he's gotta make things right with Ryan.  Can it be done?  Or are things just too weird now?  Read and find out. ;)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stop Thinking/I Never Stopped Looking

**Author's Note:**

> Um, so we wrote this back on the 2nd or so of April 2012. Sometimes we used nicknames or dates or times or places that we weren't really sure were exactly accurate or not. That's called artistic license, dear readers.
> 
> Oh and it's still in dialog format, because yeah, we were seriously cranking the words out so fast, we weren't thinking at this point.

Turns out, walking out of the room actually  doesn’t make Nash feel better.   What the hell just happened?  He goes to lie down on the bed.  And just stares at the ceiling for what seems like hours, but is probably just minutes.  Maybe... Wait, Chord.  Chord knows Ryan and Ryan’s probably already texted Chord about it, anyway.  Plus, he owes Nash.  Yeah, he’ll call Chordy.   
  
Nash: Hey, so how’s it going, little bro?  
  
Chord: Subtle...  I’m fine. What’s up with  you ?   
  
Nash: Ryan’s being weird.   
  
Chord: Yeah, he called me. Sounds like  you’re being weird.   
  
Nash: I should’ve called Summer.   
  
Chord: Too late. You’ll have to put up with me.   
  
Nash: Does he like me? Like,  like me like me?   
  
Chord: I can’t believe I’m younger than you. I should be able to rent a car and drive you to and from preschool playdates.   
  
Nash: Nevermind.   
  
Chord: Dude. What’s the matter? Did he pressure you about anything?   
  
Nash: No.   
  
Chord: Then stop being a tool.   
  
Nash: I don’t think I’m gay. And you know I’m cool with that. I wouldn’t care if I was, and it would probably be a whole lot easier in this case, but I don’t think I identify that way. Adam says it was such a relief when he came out blah blah blah, that he could put a label on what he was. But I fucking hate labels.   
  
Chord: Nash. You find girls attractive, right? I mean, you don’t just mindlessly make out with them, even though you don’t find any of them attractive at all, right? Tell me I’m right. And please don’t tell me about anything more than making out. I generally prefer to think of you as completely asexual.   
  
Nash: You’re impossible. And a dick. But yeah, I’m all about the titties. Girls are still hot. But I don’t-- it’s not there’s not some specific girl that I LOVE or anything.   
  
Chord: Are you attracted to Ryan?   
  
Nash: I don’t  know . That’s the prob. He’s my... whatever. At this point, he’s practically another you.   
  
Chord: That’s gross, the way this conversation is going. *snickers*   
  
[ooooh, Snickers]   
  
Nash: Shut your face, fuckhead. I mean, I can’t figure it out, and never thought about it before. Ry’s... like a brother, he’s a bandmate, and then he goes and says these things that make me think things I feel like I shouldn’t be thinking.   
  
Chord: Hmmmm.   
  
Nash: I hate you.   
  
Chord: Not a good way to talk to your other Ryan, man.   
  
Nash: I’m hanging up.   
  
Chord: Don’t do that. You deserve a little payback after ragging me so hard about Amber all the fucking time, but I’ll be good.   
  
Nash: I don’t know what to think.   
  
Chord: Then stop thinking. Maybe this is one of those things you can’t define. Don’t try to put a label on it. I don’t think Ryan is. I think he’s just really being honest with you, the way he always is with everyone. And he thinks YOU’RE messing it up. And being mean to RK is like kicking a puppy.   
  
Nash: You think I don’t know that? That’s the worst part. He was standing there saying these fucking  things to me, and his fucking hair was falling in his fucking face, and do you know what I wanted to do?   
  
Chord: Your adjective repetition IS a little telling.   
  
Nash: Ass.   
  
Chord: Wow. Now we’re getting somewhere, bro.   
  
Nash: Why can’t we just go on being the way we were?   
  
Chord: Dude, I think that’s exactly what Ryan wants. Stop letting all this stuff fuck with you, and just keep being Nash and Ryan, saving the world from bad music. Don’t think. If you want to fix his hair, do it. If you want to watch a movie, do it. If you want to play basketball, do it. If you want to--   
  
Nash: I get it. Really.   
  
Chord: --make sweet love to him, you should do that too.   
  
Nash: You’re really an ass.   
  
Chord: Learned from the best.   
  
Nash: Love you.   
  
Chord: Now go make me proud and stop being such a dick to your boyfriend.   
  
Nash: I take it all back.   
  
Chord: Love you, too.   
  
***   
  
After hanging up with Chordy, Nash goes to find Ryan.  He finds him in the common area with Jamie and Ian playing video games.  All Nash really knows is, he’s gotta make this right somehow.   Stop thinking , right.  He takes a deep breath and walks in.     
  
Nash: Hey.   
  
Ian: Hey, Nashie!   
  
Jamie: You wanna play my turn? I gotta go make a call.   
  
Ian: Oh, yeah, me too.   
  
Nash: Great. You mind, Ry?   
  
Ryan: Course not. Here.   
  
He scoots over to where Jamie had been so Nash can sit next to him on the couch and holds out Jamie’s controller.   
  
Nash sits and takes the controller from Ryan. After he’s got it, he realizes he was half-hoping their fingers would touch. What the hell is wrong with him?   
  
The screen is paused, but the animated music is still playing, and Ryan’s head is down, elbows on his knees.   
  
Nash: Ry?   
  
He turns, putting his knee up on the couch between them. By the time Ryan looks up and turns his face to Nash’s, he’s got a smile on.   
  
Ryan: Hey, Nash, forget it. I didn’t mean to freak you out or anything. Can we just be cool?   
  
Nash: Right, like the two of us could be anything but cool.   
  
Ryan: I’m serious. I don’t think before I talk, but I would rather take it all back than screw with our friendship. Or the band.   
  
Nash: Stop it. Or  the band , really? We’re fine,  seriously.   
  
He puts his knee down and slides over to knock his elbow into Ryan’s side.   
  
Nash: The  band .   
  
Ryan: You’re an ass.   
  
Nash: That’s what Chord said. So, are we playing or what?   
  
Ryan unpauses the game, and turns back to the screen.   
  
Ryan: When did you talk to Chordy?   
  
Nash: Just now.   
  
Ryan: How’s Amber?   
  
He leans over to the side away from Nash, sticking out his elbow, as if to keep his avatar from falling off the cliff.   
  
Nash: Didn’t ask.   
  
Ryan: Oh. So, what did y’all talk about?   
  
Nash: You, mostly.   
  
Ryan: Wait, what?   
  
His avatar falls into a fire pit, but he doesn’t notice.   
  
Nash: Turns out I was a  little freaked out. But that’s because I’m a dick. Chord’s so smart. I wonder where he got that from. Didn’t learn it from me.   
  
Ryan: You’re not a dick.   
  
Nash: Are you gonna play?   
  
Ryan: What? Yeah.   
  
He shakes his head and picks up his controller again from where it had fallen.   
  
Nash: I am, though. A complete jackass. Dickwad. Assfuck. You can stop me any time.   
  
Ryan: Nah, you’re doing fine. Keep going.   
  
Nash: HAHAHA, thanks.   
  
He knocks his shoulder into Ryan, nearly knocking them both off the sofa.   
  
Ryan: Geez, you Overstreets are so physical.   
  
Nash:  You love my brand of physical.   
  
Ryan: It’s okay.   
  
Nash:  Okay?  Seriously?  I’ll have you know....  Yeah.  Let’s play.     
  
Ryan: Playing.   
  
Nash:  You call that playing?  You just fell off the cliff again.     
  
Ryan: You’re distracting.   
  
Nash:  *mumbles*     
  
Ryan: Didn’t catch that.   
  
He leans over to Nash and cups his hand around his ear.   
  
Nash:  Shut it, dick.  I didn’t say anything.   
  
Ryan: Oh,  I’m the dick now?   
  
Nash:  No.   
  
Ryan: Whatever you say.   
  
Nash:  We’re being weird again.  Is this weird?   
  
Ryan: My fault.   
  
He straightens up back in his spot on the couch.   
  
Nash:  Quit it.   
  
Ryan: Okay, so pretending nothing happened and everything’s fine didn’t work. What’s next?   
  
Nash:  I don’t know.  I just don’t know, Ry.  It’s out there now.  Really fucking out there.   
  
Ryan: What is?   
  
Nash:  That whole not looking away thing or whatever it was you said.  It’s OUT there.     
  
Ryan: I never stopped looking at you? I wasn’t trying to put anything out there.   
  
Nash:  *lays his head on the back of the couch and turns to look at Ryan*  I know, Ry.  I just....I don’t know.   
  
Ryan: Honestly, Nash, I didn’t realize I’ve been saying stuff differently than I used to.   
  
Nash:  Maybe I’ve been dumb ‘cause I just started noticing.     
  
Ryan: Noticing what?   
  
Nash:  Dude.  You know what I mean.  You  have to know.   
  
Ryan: *takes throw pillow from end of couch, puts it against Nash’s side, and lies his head down* All I know is I’m making you feel weird, and I so didn’t want that.   
  
Nash:  *breathes deeply and blows it out*  Ryno.  Your fucking bangs are in your eyes.   
  
Ryan: It’s not bangs. I’m not Jamie. It’s just my hair. *shakes head like a puppy, knocking into Nash*   
  
Nash:  Stop, dumbass.  *chuckling under his breath*   
  
Ryan: *looks up at Nash* Did I fix it?   
  
Nash:  *coughs*  No.  Not really.   
  
Ryan: Okay. It’s not bugging me. It looks like both our players are dead. You wanna watch a movie?   
  
Nash:  Shut up.  *moves his hand from the back of the couch, taking his index finger and carefully moves the hair out of Ryan’s eyes*   
  
Ryan: *still looking at Nash* Thanks.   
  
Nash:  Thought I told you to shut up.  *Nash hasn’t moved his hand from Ryan’s face, now resting on the side of Ryan’s cheek and if he really thinks about it should be fucking weird but Chord said just go with it, so he’s going with it and rubs his thumb back and forth across Ryan’s cheekbone*   
  
Ryan: Um. This, um. Doesn’t freak you out or anything?   
  
Nash:  Not looking away, am I?  Still here, aren’t I?  Go big or go home, Follese.   
  
Ryan: *chest rising and falling rapidly* *whispers* Fuck me running.   
  
Nash:  *chuckles*  Not entirely sure what I want to do here.   
  
The video game music is still playing in the background and the screen is glowing.   
  
Ryan: Oh. Right. You’re um, doing fine so far. *closes eyes then opens them to watch how the muscles in Nash’s arms move as he keeps playing with Ryan’s hair*   
  
Nash:  I could say something about how fine I am but not sure this is the time.  *runs his thumb down the side of Ryan’s face, pauses, breathes, and looks down at Ryan again...and touches his bottom lip*   
  
Ian: *walks up to doorway* Y’all won’t believe what Adam’s ass just did on the radio. Oh, whoa. Um. I can just tell y’all later. Yeah. *backs out quickly* JAMIE! LET’S GO WATCH CARS BLOW UP IN SOME MOVIE. IS JUMP STREET PLAYING ON THE CORNER? OH GOD.   
  
Nash:  Shut the door behind you, douche!     
  
*front door slams, and tires peel out on the street*   
  
Ryan: I think... *tries not to move lips so Nash doesn’t take his hand away* I think they’re gone.   
  
Nash:  Yup, sounds like it.  *Nash leans further over towards Ryan so he can see his face better*  Time to tag out, Ryno, if you’re not up for this.     
  
Ryan: I.. *clears throat* twenty minutes ago, you said it was weird. Are you sure you’re up for this? I don’t think I can go back to whatever after you’re touching my face and.. everything. *he puts out a finger to trace Nash’s forearm*   
  
Nash:  Half of my blood supply just landed in my lap.  I don’t think there’s any going back from that.  But, just so you know, I don’t put out on the first date.  I’m not that easy.  *Nash smiles fondly and leans even further into Ryan’s space*  This okay?   
  
Ryan: Only half? Must be losing my touch. *still tracing Nashie’s arm with his finger, moving up to his bicep* and yeah, okay. Perfect. *moves eyes from Nash’s arm to his face...glances down to his lips*   
  
Nash:  *takes his hand from Ryan’s face, slipping their fingers together to tangle and stops to look at them for a second*  I’ve probably seen you use these a million times and never looked, right?  *looks back down in Ryan’s eyes*  I’m a little late to the game, but I’m looking now.  *leans further forward*   
  
Ryan: Better late than never, I always say. *adjusts lower body on the couch and squeezes Nash’s hand* I never stopped looking.   
  
Nash:  *closes his eyes and breathes out*   Fuck, Ry.  *opens his eyes, looks down at Ryan’s lips again and leans in, stopping to scan Ryan’s face - so familiar, so new - and closes the distance*   
  
Ryan: *grabs the back of Nash’s neck, holds him close as their lips finally touch, mingle*   
  
Nash:  *pulls back and rests his forehead against Ryan’s*  That. Was. Awesome.  Let’s do it again.  *laughs softly*   
  
Ryan: No time like the present. I always say. *threads fingers in the back of Nash’s hair where it meets his neck*   
  
Nash:  *Nash smiles and touches Ryan’s bottom lip with his thumb again*  Amen.   
  
Ryan: *pulls Nash in for another kiss and when they take a breath* Can we watch Maid in Manhattan now?   
  
Nash:  *pushes Ryan’s hair out of his face* Anything.     
  
Ryan: And no weirdness? This is nice, right?   
  
Nash:  Nice?  No.  It’s fucking awesome.  But I might need your pillow.  *pulls it over onto his lap*  Put your head down, Follese.  I got you.     
  
Ryan: Awesome, yeah. Amazing. Yeah, I may just keep you with me.   
  
Nash:  *raises left eyebrow*  You are a fucking sap.  You’re still not getting in my pants.  Nice try though.     
  
Ryan: *turns face up to look at Nash and takes his hand to rub circles on Nash’s lower back, never taking his eyes off Nash’s* That’s okay. I got plenty of time to get you there. *glances down at Nash’s lips again, then back up, grins and moves his hand from Nash’s back, and turns his head to the screen* Yeah, let’s just watch the movie.   
  
Nash:  *rolls his eyes*  Them’s fighting words, fucker.  *somehow in the ensuing melee of tickles to the ribcage, Nash ends up pinning Ryan’s hands above his head**looks down at Ryan where they’re laying together on the couch*  Say uncle.   
  
Ryan: Why would I do that? This is exactly where I want to be. *looks at Nash’s lips again, then down at their bodies*   
  
Nash:   Ryan . *lets go of Ryan’s wrists and levers himself up so he can cup his face*  You are fucking sappy.  *bends down and kisses Ryan lightly on the lips* So. Fucking. Sappy *he says, pressing a kiss between each word*   
  
Ryan: *whispers* It’s just me, Nash.   
  
Nash:  *whispers*  There’s no ‘just’ about it.  It’s  you .   
  
Ryan: *grins, still whispering, with one hand in Nash’s hair again, and the other moving lower and lower on his back* You don’t do anything half way, do you?   
  
Nash:  You still trying to get into my pants?  You owe me dinner first.  And a movie.     
  
Ryan: *grinning even bigger, moving both hands into Nash’s hair* Deal.   
  
Nash:  And not Mickey D’s either, cheapskate.  I’ve seen where you take your....girls.  And if you call me a girl, I’ll kick you in the dick. *stands up, grabs Ryan’s hands and pulls him up*  Come on, I’m beat.  All these feelings make me tired.  *stops at the door and looks over his shoulder*  Wanna be the big spoon or little spoon?   
  
Ryan: We can switch off. And you’ll have to tell me about all these feelings you got.   
  
Nash:  *grabs Ryan and pulls him in, kissing his temple*  Maybe later.  Gotta text Chordy real quick.  You go on up.  I’ll be right there.   
  
SMS to OBIWAN CHORDOBI (Nash):  Best.  Nite.  Ever.     
  
SMS to ASSFUCK (Chord): Ryno beat you to it. FW: SMS from RYAN F: Thanks. :)   
  
***   
  
When Nash walks in, Ryan is sitting on the end of the bed, still dressed.  Nash sits next to him, and Ryan starts rubbing his back again.   
  
Nash: Stop it, fucker. You're giving me a boner.   
  
Ryan: Kinda the point, jerkface.   
  
Nash: We had this talk, Ryno. No putting out till din-din and a movie. So keep your hands above the waist.   
  
Ryan: How about ON the waist.   
  
Nash: Whatever works for you, dude. I know it's hard for you to keep your hands off my rockin' bod.   
  
Ryan: Annnd there you are.


End file.
